Merry Christmas

We had a surprise present on Saturday when our internet went out. So for 3 days I had no internet meaning no blog or xbox. Because I was not able to post what I had planned on Christmas we are going to pretend it's the 25th again. So merry Christmas, happy Hanukah, happy Kwanza, etc. I'm sure everyone knows about Santa Claus. The man who delivers gifts on Christmas. Well know that I'm older I've realized something about him. He's a very creepy man. Don't believe me? Think about it. He enslaves elves to work in the north pole making toys all day. That must be fucking freezing. It can be -43 degrees celsius in the north pole. They probably huddle together at night with the reindeer to keep warm. Then the reindeer. Poor Rudolph being discriminated against just because his nose lights up. How could santa let that happen. Then forcing them to fly around the world. I just hope they're being feed after being forced to fly around the world in one night and carrying the fat man. I can barely breath after going down the stairs. I need a medical team when I go up the stairs in case I pass out. Now with delivering the gifts. He's a fat man who climbs down chimneys. I've seen skinny people trying to go down chimneys and not be able to make it. How Santa does it I don't know. But if you asked the police I'm pretty sure they would consider that breaking and entering so since Santa does that every year to millions of houses he's gonna go to jail for a long time. Then while he's in your house he eats your cookies and drinks your milk. I'm sorry (no I'm not) but I would not make cookies for some guy that breaks into my house while I'm sleeping. If I'm making cookies for anyone (which would be a miracle for me to cook anything) I am going to be eating them. Anyways besides him being in your house he's also in your mall. Every mall has him visiting so the kids can sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Christmas. How do kids not notice that. You'd think they'd be like "how is Santa in the same place at the same time?" but no. Now Santa has been around for a long time. The first sighting of him was in 1821 so he'll be celebrating his 200th birthday sometime in in 2021 which is only 10 years away. Basically for those of you who don't want to do the math he's 190 years old. So he's the oldest person alive but he can still climb down chimneys to eat a shit load of cookies. So I've just destroyed a lot of kids dreams about Santa so I'm going to go take a nap. But one last thing. Has anyone ever noticed that Santa is spelled very similar to satan? 

Question of the Day:

Where's the pony I wanted when I was 5 Santa? 

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's....iron man?

"Yay," I though to myself last night before I went to bed (although technically it was early in the morning when I went to sleep) "it's Tuesday so I have no classes today and I can sleep in." Which I did finally getting up at 3 pm. After getting up I played MW3 for about an hour until I remembered the homework I had. So my day of no school turned into having to do science homework, a math test, an english test, and review for the civics test and I still have more science to do and in english we're writing a short story that I still have to work on (I have two stories and I'm not sure which to use). Anyways I spent about an hour and a half doing homework on my day off (yes I have no school on Tuesdays and Thursdays haha). So now I'm taking a break. My day yesterday was interesting. After school (I also only have 4 hours of school on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday hahahaha) me and my mom had to bring one of our 5 cats to the vet. She hates the vet and being in a cage so we spent 10 minutes in the car hearing her meow the whole way there then we got there she no longer hated her cage and wanted to stay in it only to hear her meow for another 10 minutes on our way back. Then me and my dad went to the mall to meet my friend. My arm was almost ripped off when I told her what Ross put about Andy from Black Veil Brides on his blog Sarcasmic Music (run Ross run she's gonna kill you). Anyways aside from all the shit in my life, today I'm going to talk about a show I watch. It's called Iron Man Armored Adventures (yes I watch things like that). Now it's a good show but there's some things that perplex me. Like how he always watches the one building. You'd think that people would find it weird for some guy to watch a building all the time but no they just go on with their lives not a care in the world. Then when iron man is fighting another person in iron in the middle of a road it's completely normal. No one calls the police or are worried about it at all. And when a robot smashes into your building and causes a lot of damage no one cares or when your car looks like it's been sat on by a giant nothing happens. Then there's the brat Justin Hammer. The girl that works for him should quit. If a 20 something year old brat almost kills me with a laser gun thing I would not be working for him anymore. Then when he gets blasted of to space he doesn't do anything. You'd think he's be like "maybe I should move out of the way so I don't get blasted off into space" but no he just stands there. I wish people on COD would be like that. It would make the throwing knife much easier to use. There's that other criminal named Unicorn. What the fuck man. Seriously unicorn, that's the best you could come up with. If I was fighting someone named unicorn I would not be scared at all. Remember criminals when picking a name for yourself pick ones that are going to strike fear into your foes not a name that's going to make people think that you want to finish the fight soon so you can get to the shoe sale on time. So that's the end of my complaining but one last thing. People in iron armor bounce. 

Question of the Day:

What if you get two fortune cookies that contradict each other? 

School

School is a glorious place filled with happiness. False. School is hell with fluorescent lighting. True. As you can see I hate school. But doesn't everyone. Who wants to go to a place that you have to go to for 8 hours to learn things you don't care about and then get home and have to go over everything you just learned for 2 hours. Anyone that does like it is crazy. Let's go over what I'm learning right now to see how useless it is. In math I'm learning triangle congruence by ASA and AAS. Who the fuck cares if two triangles are congruent. I sure as hell don't. In civics we had a review game today for a test. My team won but we get nothing for winning. In science we're learning about mole. No, by mole I do mean the animal or the thing on peoples faces. This mole is an amount of a substance that contains approximately 6.02 times 10 to the power of 23 particles of that substance. Confused? Me too but the part that confuses me the most is the abbreviation for mole. The abbreviation is mol. Yes they abbreviated a four letter word into a three letter word. How lazy are people that they don't feel like putting an e at the end of mole. I mean really. I know that l is on one side of the key board and e is all the way on the other side but come on. It's not that hard to type an e. Look, I just did it. This is the reason that America is fat. We're to lazy to type an e but not to lazy to drive to McDonalds to get a big mac. This is why I hate school On the bright side I do like english. I learn more useless shit but at least I get to read a good story. The story this week was called 'Lamb to the Slaughter' by Roald Dahl. It's about a woman who loves her police man husband and is 6 months pregnant. He comes home and is acting strange and then tells her something (we never find out what it is he tells her but we're guessing he was leaving her possible because of an affair). At first she denies it and tries to pretend every things ok and gets a leg of lamb to cook for dinner. She gets the lamb and goes into the room where he tells her he's going out. She becomes mad and hits him over the head with the lamb. He dies and because she has a baby and doesn't want anything to happen to it she makes a plan. She starts cooking the lamb and heads out to the grocery store acting as if nothings wrong. She acts like a caring wife getting food for her husband. She goes back home and finds him dead and calls the police who come. After talking to the guy at the grocery store who was helping the woman they suspect nothing. She offers them a drink and later food saying that her husband would not have liked her to not offer them anything after all there hard work and tells them there's lamb that should be done in the kitchen. They comply and eat the food thus destroying the only evidence they had. It's a very good story. Anyways I have a little test for everyone. See how many of them you can get right. Even if you're an adult you can take it and see how much stuff you learned in school that you don't need later in life.

Each question is worth 1 point. No cheating

Math
1. 2x + 5 times 7 = 89 what does x equal
2. what is the area of a triangle with a base of 8 inches and height of 10 inches
3. find the hypotenuse of a triangle with two sides that both have a length of 4 inches

English
1. what is third-person-limited point of view
2. give the definition of the underlined word. The calamity caused by contagion was not stopped in the dominion because the king who ruled during the reign did not endeavor to save the people and he later atoned his wrongdoings.
3. In Romeo and Juliet what type of irony is used when Romeo believes Juliet is dead but we know she is not.

Science
1. what are these elements Ag, Pd, S, Li, and Hg
2. what is Newton's first law of motion
3. what is malleability

Social Studies
1. who fought in the French and Indian war
2.  what is capital punishment
3. what year was the Constitution written

Language
1. what does the spanish word "campo de juegos" mean
2. what does the french word "avion" mean
3. what does the german word "katze" mean


answers

math
1. x = 6
2. 40 square inches
3. 8 inches

english
1. when the story is told by an outside observer, who frequently refers to the characters with third-person pronouns.
2. to make amends for something a person did wrong
3. dramatic irony

science
1. Ag - silver, Pd - palladium, S - sulfur, Li - lithium, Hg - mercury
2. the state of motion of an object does not change as long as the net force acting on the object is zero
3. the ability of a solid to be hammered without shattering

Social Studies
1. the French against Britain
2. the death penalty
3. 1787

language
1. playground
2. plane
3. cat

Question of the Day:
How well did you do on the test?