People

Today at 5 o'clock in the morning I found a disturbing thing on the internet. Wikipedia was shut down for the day because of some stupid law thingy that's threatening the internet. You know what I say to that law thing. Fuck off! Anyways now that I've gotten my anger out of the way for my post today I'm going to tell you guys what I say yesterday from my point of view. So I was in the car and the first thing I saw some guy texting on the phone when cars are literally 6 inches to the left of him driving. And people thought that driving while texting was bad. Then there was a guy who looked a little to old to have a balloon (it was light blue in case you're wondering). Another guy who looks a little to old to be dating that woman he's holding hands with. Trees actually looked like they were talking. One looked like they were sitting down and the other looked like it was pointing towards something. Probably pointing at the guy with a balloon. I saw a phone number that wanted to know if you have junk. Why it wants junk I have no idea. There was a sign that told me it's hot dog time but I feel like it tells me that every time I see it. A woman was taking the words "keep your eyes on the road" way to seriously. She just kept looking down at the road while driving. There was also a car that said it had no seats and  bridge that is possibly icy. Why they have a sign that tells you that I have no idea. Is that going to help stop accidents? Then we passed a graveyard which isn't so bad except it was a crappy day and really foggy out so it was kind of freaky. Then right next to the graveyard was a tree that looked like it was capturing a bird feeder with long pointing tree limbs which didn't at all help with the graveyard. Next I went to a mall where people were torturing fruit in a blender. How they were going to talk to the fruit I don't know. There was also mall cops with stupid hats and people that had a shopping cart in the mall. The last thing I saw was a claw machine with no prizes in it. Sorry today was a stupid post. To make it up to you I'm going to go you a riddle that I made up.

I am worthless
I am only bought once
I am only used once
And then I sit here
forever
Until they choose to replace me
I am worthless
For I am....

Ok so that doesn't really make up for the crappy post but.....just answer it anyway.

Question of the day:

Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly.

Stupid Laws

Hello people. It's January 7th and you know what that means. Last Saturday was New Years Eve. Yes New Years Eve. The day that people go to parties, get drunk, do stupid stuff, and ultimately wake up in a bed with a killer hang over and some person you don't know next to you.  If your a women you also might be pregnant and the father of the child could be 5 different men. So congratulations. Maybe next year you'll decide to not drink (but probably not). So as you all don't know one of my favorite things to do is to read or watch stupid things. Stupid criminals, warnings, signs, you name it. It always gives me a good laugh. Recently in civics we were learning about laws and my teacher told us that there's one law in Alaska that states that you're not allowed to push a moose out of a moving plane. That got me thinking there must be a lot of other stupid laws out there so I found this one website that has a bunch of stupid laws. So I picked one from each state and made fun of it and I'm going to share them with you. Since there's 50 states I'm going to break it down into two groups. I'm going to do 25 today and the other 25 when ever I feel like it. So here they are and remember they have a reason for these laws. People have done all these things to make them have a law against it.

Alaska - You can not wake a sleeping bear to take a picture with it. Why would you see a sleeping bear and be like "hey let's wake it up and take a picture with it." Seriously it's not a clown it's a living creature that will rip your eyes out when you wake it up.

Alabama - You may not have ice cream in your back pocket at any time. How dare you put perfectly good ice cream in your pocket you, you! I don't even know what to call you I'm so mad!

Arizona - Donkeys may not sleep in bathtubs. Well duh. Donkeys are supposed to sleep in closets you idiot.

California - No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. Chitty chitty bang bang was subsequently arrested and sent to jail.

Colorado - Catapults may not be fired at buildings. Colorado is still living in medieval times.

Connecticut - You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. How do you stop when you're going that fast?

Delaware - No person shall change clothes in his or her vehicle. Then where am I supposed to change?

Florida - Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. Why. Just why.

Georgia - Signs are required to be written in English. But what if I speak Spanish.

Hawaii - coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ear. They never said anything about dollars.

Idaho - Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays in considered a crime. Start your criminal career young kids.

Illinois - Law forbids eating at a place that is on fire. Apparently places that are on fire are hot spots (sorry stupid joke)

Indiana - A three dollar fine per pack with be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming. Yeah 3 dollars. That will teach them.

Iowa - The fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending fires. So by the time they get there every ones dead.

Kansas - It is illegal to urinate on the side of a building. What about the corner of one?

Kentucky - It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky. Who fishes with a bow and arrow? Is it the same person who's hitting buildings using a catapult in Colorado?

Louisiana - One may not "dare" another to go onto a railroad track owned by another. Do you get in trouble for daring them to or is it only if they actually go do it and does the person who dared them also get in trouble? So many questions.

Maine - You may not step out of a plane in flight. Skydivers are in big trouble.

Maryland - It's illegal to take a lion to the movies. Oh but there's no rule about taking a tiger to the movies. Discriminating against lions isn't right.

Massachusetts - An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public. Were there people that would smuggle goatees?

Michigan - it is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber. Who the fuck has a decompression chamber. What is there a dog killing aisle in Walmart.

Minnesota - The land of 10,000 lakes declares mosquitoes a public nuisances. What is that going to do? Make all the mosquitoes go away.

Mississippi - A man may not seduce a woman by lying claiming he will marry her. Yeah that's just wrong.

Missouri - Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. So they can't buy something that won't kill someone but they can buy something that will kill someone? That's like telling a person that's on a diet that they can't buy vegetables but they can buy candy.

All of these laws have come from www.dumblaws.com

Question of the Day:

What do you do if you're riding a giraffe and getting chased by a lion?