Languages

I'm back. Last week my family and I went on a trip to Georgia. I did take some pictures there and I will share them with you once I figure out how to put pictures on here. Until then I noticed something while I was there. They talk differently. I know that's a shocker. But seriously they use different words and have a different accent and it was hard for me to understand what people were saying sometimes. I was thinking about it and I though "why not have a language class that teaches us different words that they use and how to speak with their accent". I think it would be much more convenient then learning Spanish or french. Then I though "but people in England have a different accent then people in the US and use some different words but we don't take an English language class". So I am proposing that instead of taking Spanish or french or German or any other language, we should first consider taking Southern American (or whatever it would be called) and people in the southern American states can take North American as a language. School should also let us take English as a language. I think it would be much better to take those. I mean who wants to learn Spanish. It's not like anyone wants to visit Mexico with all the gang crimes(don't kill me gang people) and listening to peoples conversation while they're speaking Spanish is kind of creepy. And French? Who wants to go to France and eat frog legs? Anyways guys with English accents are so cute (I think every American girl would agree with that). So come one school. Drop Spanish and French and let us learn those language.

Question of the Day:

Do people in America speak American or do we speak English and if it's American that we speak why do we learn it in English class?

Games

Many games now supposedly are good for kids but if you think about it some of them can teach kids bad things. Here's a list of them.

Monopoly - Teaches kids that they should destroy their opponents and take all their money. It teaches them how to be megalomaniacs (look it up).

Operation - a game that shows kids the dangers of performing an operation and makes them think it is easy to mess them up thus the kids become terrified of hospitals.

Clue - Shows kids that everyone is a suspect when a crime is committed even themselves.

Perfection - Teaches kids that they have to do everything perfect and have things done on time or everything gets messed up.

Jenga - Makes kids cautious about every move they make for fear that they will lose.

The Game of Life - Teaches kids early that not everything in life is perfect.

Crocodile Dentist - This game isn't really that bad except it makes kids think that when you're bit by a crocodile it doesn't hurt very much so they don't have a fear of crocodiles and get eaten by one. Now if I made the game I would make the crocodiles teeth very sharp like knives.

Hungry Hungry Hippos - Teaches kids that they can control hippos and that hippos are pink, green, orange, and yellow.

These are just some of the many games there are. And people wonder why humans are so messed up. It's because children are playing these games.

Question of the Day:

Anybody want to play my version of Crocodile Dentist?

Coincidentally Means....

It just dawned on me that in my last post my little short story would have been perfect for Valentines Day (if you haven't figured out what it was about yet and you still can't figure out what it's about even though I just gave you a big hint I'll give you another hint. Look up what "kardia" means in Latin. If you still can't figure out what it's about please go to a doctor. There is something wrong with you.)  So when I figured this out I though "They coincidentally have big similarities." or something like that. Then I had to look up what coincidentally meant because it sounds like a word that people made up. So I typed coincidentally into wiktionary and this is what it told me.

1. In a coincidental manner. 


Well that helps me because I have no idea what coincidental means! So I had to click on coincidental which I found out meant. 


1. Occurring as or resulting from coincidence. 


Seriously! If I knew what coincidence meant I wouldn't have to look up coincidental or coincidentally. So I again I clicked on coincidence which means....


1. Of objects, the property of being coincident; occurring at the same time or place.


Deciding to ignore them again using a word I don't know I found out that coincidence basically means two objects occurring at the same time or place. Then I gave up because it wasn't helping me at all and all I really wanted to know is whether coincidentally is a real word and it is. But please wiktionary don't use words that I don't know the meaning of when I'm trying to find out what another word means. Oh and did I mention I'm sick.


Question of the Day:


To sick to care....

Grammy

I can't remember if I've ever been anywhere else. All I can remember is being in this prison for my whole life. It's so dark I can't see a thing but I can slightly feel things. Especially when they shock me. I never do anything wrong or talk but once every second they shock me. Sometimes they shock me twice in one second. Every time they do my muscles contract and I can feel blood spilling out of me and into small tubes. Then from some other tubes they put more blood into me. Why they do this I don't know. Why do they want me to suffer? It's so crowded in here. I think my captor has more then one slave. I can feel something on both sides of me. The one on the left seems smaller then the other. They seem to breathe in and out. I can't talk to them but I assume they to are tortured. If I ever get out I don't know what I'll do, where I'll go, what I'll see. But for now I'll just stay here and endure my torture.

A little short story to entertain you in the beginning. Now today I am really pissed. Today is the 54th Grammy awards. The Grammys say that it's a night for music but really they're lying. It's not for music. It's pretty much only for pop and rap. The only things they have for rock is the Foo Fighters and four fucking awards. Now lets look at those awards. Fucking Mumford and Sons. You have to be kidding me. They aren't fucking rock. I've never even heard of Wilco and I don't consider Coldplay rock. Megadeth and Mastodon are the only metal bands there. Then for the best record and album of the year. For the best record there isn't anything for rock or metal. What about fucking Buried Alive by Avenged Sevenfold, Fever by Bullet for my Valentine, All Signs Point to Lauderdale or It's Complicated by A Day to Remember, and Sick or The Collapse by Adelitas Way. Why the fuck aren't any of those songs in there. Why is it all pop and there has been plenty of rock and metal albums besides the Foo Fighters (although there's nothing wrong with them). This is why I can't wait for the Revolver Golden Gods Awards. A night where people who like rock and metal can celebrate and vote for bands and songs they like and not shitty pop and rap. But until then....

Question of the Day:

What type of music do you like?

Stupid Laws Part 2

Yay. Stupid laws again. But before I begin the answer to my riddle thing. The answer is paint. Yes a riddle written from the point of view of paint. Don't you feel bad for your paint now All lonely with nothing to do and thinking it's worthless. Show your paint some love today. How you'll do that I don't know. I can't do everything for you. 

Montana - One may not pretend to abuse an animal in the presence of a minor. How do you pretend to abuse an animal? What are they professional wrestlers? 

Nebraska - It is illegal to go whale fishing. Where the fuck in Nebraska is there a whale! What are they hunting stuffed animals. 

Nevada - It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway. Do camels now come with steering wheels? 

New Hampshire - In cemeteries it is illegal to: get drunk, picnic, enter at night, and enter by one's self if that person is younger than 10. Who goes to the cemetery and is like "What a great place for my ten year old kid to come alone and have a picnic at night." 

New Jersey - It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer. I can see how this would go in prison. Guy one: "Hey what are you in for?" Guy 2: "I shot a guy. What about you?" Guy 1: "I frowned at a police officer." Guy 2: "Dude that's badass."

New Mexico - Hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery. What are you hunting zombies? You've been playing way to many video games. 

New York - The penalty for jumping off a building is death. No shit. You don't have to make a law saying that. It's kind of implied. And if they do live I don't think they're going to have a problem being sentenced to death. 

North Carolina - Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited. Imagine visiting fluffy and spot in jail. Is there anyone else who thinks this would be kind of cute. 

North Dakota - It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on. Do police go into people's houses just to make sure they haven't?

Ohio - It is illegal for more then five women to live in a house. I guess the cast of jersey shore won't be living here. Oh wait they aren't all girls. Well by the way the guys bitched I just assumed they were. 

Oklahoma - People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed. Dogs have feelings too. 

Oregon - One may not test their physical endurance while driving a car on the highway. I don't think they should have this law. If an idiot wants to kill himself by trying to be superman I say we let him as long as he doesn't hurt other people. That means we'll have one less idiot to deal with. 

Pennsylvania - It is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors. But they're so comfortable. 

Rhode island - Impersonating a town sealer, auctioneer, corder of wood, or a fence-viewer is against the law. Do you really gain anything for impersonating any of these people. 

South Carolina - A permit must be obtained to fire a missile. I feel like they made this just to find the idiots who have missiles. 

South Dakota - No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants. Can't you just say that no horses are allowed. Why do you have to add them wearing pants. 

Tennessee - It is illegal to place tacks on a highway. But it would be funny. 

Texas - A recently passed anti crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. I really hope that no criminal actually takes the time to do this. 

Utah - It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon. If someone is going to detonate a nuclear weapon I don't think they're going to obey a law. 

Vermont - At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole. What's with all the weird laws involving animals. 

Virginia - Police radar detectors are illegal. Who arrests the police that do this. 

Washington - When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the other has passed. How the fuck is that supposed to work if both of them can't move.

West Virginia - It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 pounds. Poor fluffy. 

Wisconsin - The state definition of rape stated that it was a man having sex with a woman he knows not to be his wife. "But officer I was positive it was my wife."

Wyoming - Any person who fails to close a fence is subject to a fine of up to seven hundred and fifty dollars. They really take this crime seriously. They even have bait fences. 

Done. Fifty dumb laws in America. Again I did absolutely no work on this except thinking of how to make fun of them. They all came from www.dumblaws.com

Question of the Day: 

How are you going to make it up to your paint? 

People

Today at 5 o'clock in the morning I found a disturbing thing on the internet. Wikipedia was shut down for the day because of some stupid law thingy that's threatening the internet. You know what I say to that law thing. Fuck off! Anyways now that I've gotten my anger out of the way for my post today I'm going to tell you guys what I say yesterday from my point of view. So I was in the car and the first thing I saw some guy texting on the phone when cars are literally 6 inches to the left of him driving. And people thought that driving while texting was bad. Then there was a guy who looked a little to old to have a balloon (it was light blue in case you're wondering). Another guy who looks a little to old to be dating that woman he's holding hands with. Trees actually looked like they were talking. One looked like they were sitting down and the other looked like it was pointing towards something. Probably pointing at the guy with a balloon. I saw a phone number that wanted to know if you have junk. Why it wants junk I have no idea. There was a sign that told me it's hot dog time but I feel like it tells me that every time I see it. A woman was taking the words "keep your eyes on the road" way to seriously. She just kept looking down at the road while driving. There was also a car that said it had no seats and  bridge that is possibly icy. Why they have a sign that tells you that I have no idea. Is that going to help stop accidents? Then we passed a graveyard which isn't so bad except it was a crappy day and really foggy out so it was kind of freaky. Then right next to the graveyard was a tree that looked like it was capturing a bird feeder with long pointing tree limbs which didn't at all help with the graveyard. Next I went to a mall where people were torturing fruit in a blender. How they were going to talk to the fruit I don't know. There was also mall cops with stupid hats and people that had a shopping cart in the mall. The last thing I saw was a claw machine with no prizes in it. Sorry today was a stupid post. To make it up to you I'm going to go you a riddle that I made up.

I am worthless
I am only bought once
I am only used once
And then I sit here
forever
Until they choose to replace me
I am worthless
For I am....

Ok so that doesn't really make up for the crappy post but.....just answer it anyway.

Question of the day:

Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly.

Stupid Laws

Hello people. It's January 7th and you know what that means. Last Saturday was New Years Eve. Yes New Years Eve. The day that people go to parties, get drunk, do stupid stuff, and ultimately wake up in a bed with a killer hang over and some person you don't know next to you.  If your a women you also might be pregnant and the father of the child could be 5 different men. So congratulations. Maybe next year you'll decide to not drink (but probably not). So as you all don't know one of my favorite things to do is to read or watch stupid things. Stupid criminals, warnings, signs, you name it. It always gives me a good laugh. Recently in civics we were learning about laws and my teacher told us that there's one law in Alaska that states that you're not allowed to push a moose out of a moving plane. That got me thinking there must be a lot of other stupid laws out there so I found this one website that has a bunch of stupid laws. So I picked one from each state and made fun of it and I'm going to share them with you. Since there's 50 states I'm going to break it down into two groups. I'm going to do 25 today and the other 25 when ever I feel like it. So here they are and remember they have a reason for these laws. People have done all these things to make them have a law against it.

Alaska - You can not wake a sleeping bear to take a picture with it. Why would you see a sleeping bear and be like "hey let's wake it up and take a picture with it." Seriously it's not a clown it's a living creature that will rip your eyes out when you wake it up.

Alabama - You may not have ice cream in your back pocket at any time. How dare you put perfectly good ice cream in your pocket you, you! I don't even know what to call you I'm so mad!

Arizona - Donkeys may not sleep in bathtubs. Well duh. Donkeys are supposed to sleep in closets you idiot.

California - No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. Chitty chitty bang bang was subsequently arrested and sent to jail.

Colorado - Catapults may not be fired at buildings. Colorado is still living in medieval times.

Connecticut - You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. How do you stop when you're going that fast?

Delaware - No person shall change clothes in his or her vehicle. Then where am I supposed to change?

Florida - Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. Why. Just why.

Georgia - Signs are required to be written in English. But what if I speak Spanish.

Hawaii - coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ear. They never said anything about dollars.

Idaho - Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays in considered a crime. Start your criminal career young kids.

Illinois - Law forbids eating at a place that is on fire. Apparently places that are on fire are hot spots (sorry stupid joke)

Indiana - A three dollar fine per pack with be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming. Yeah 3 dollars. That will teach them.

Iowa - The fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending fires. So by the time they get there every ones dead.

Kansas - It is illegal to urinate on the side of a building. What about the corner of one?

Kentucky - It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky. Who fishes with a bow and arrow? Is it the same person who's hitting buildings using a catapult in Colorado?

Louisiana - One may not "dare" another to go onto a railroad track owned by another. Do you get in trouble for daring them to or is it only if they actually go do it and does the person who dared them also get in trouble? So many questions.

Maine - You may not step out of a plane in flight. Skydivers are in big trouble.

Maryland - It's illegal to take a lion to the movies. Oh but there's no rule about taking a tiger to the movies. Discriminating against lions isn't right.

Massachusetts - An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public. Were there people that would smuggle goatees?

Michigan - it is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber. Who the fuck has a decompression chamber. What is there a dog killing aisle in Walmart.

Minnesota - The land of 10,000 lakes declares mosquitoes a public nuisances. What is that going to do? Make all the mosquitoes go away.

Mississippi - A man may not seduce a woman by lying claiming he will marry her. Yeah that's just wrong.

Missouri - Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. So they can't buy something that won't kill someone but they can buy something that will kill someone? That's like telling a person that's on a diet that they can't buy vegetables but they can buy candy.

All of these laws have come from www.dumblaws.com

Question of the Day:

What do you do if you're riding a giraffe and getting chased by a lion?