Merry Christmas

We had a surprise present on Saturday when our internet went out. So for 3 days I had no internet meaning no blog or xbox. Because I was not able to post what I had planned on Christmas we are going to pretend it's the 25th again. So merry Christmas, happy Hanukah, happy Kwanza, etc. I'm sure everyone knows about Santa Claus. The man who delivers gifts on Christmas. Well know that I'm older I've realized something about him. He's a very creepy man. Don't believe me? Think about it. He enslaves elves to work in the north pole making toys all day. That must be fucking freezing. It can be -43 degrees celsius in the north pole. They probably huddle together at night with the reindeer to keep warm. Then the reindeer. Poor Rudolph being discriminated against just because his nose lights up. How could santa let that happen. Then forcing them to fly around the world. I just hope they're being feed after being forced to fly around the world in one night and carrying the fat man. I can barely breath after going down the stairs. I need a medical team when I go up the stairs in case I pass out. Now with delivering the gifts. He's a fat man who climbs down chimneys. I've seen skinny people trying to go down chimneys and not be able to make it. How Santa does it I don't know. But if you asked the police I'm pretty sure they would consider that breaking and entering so since Santa does that every year to millions of houses he's gonna go to jail for a long time. Then while he's in your house he eats your cookies and drinks your milk. I'm sorry (no I'm not) but I would not make cookies for some guy that breaks into my house while I'm sleeping. If I'm making cookies for anyone (which would be a miracle for me to cook anything) I am going to be eating them. Anyways besides him being in your house he's also in your mall. Every mall has him visiting so the kids can sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Christmas. How do kids not notice that. You'd think they'd be like "how is Santa in the same place at the same time?" but no. Now Santa has been around for a long time. The first sighting of him was in 1821 so he'll be celebrating his 200th birthday sometime in in 2021 which is only 10 years away. Basically for those of you who don't want to do the math he's 190 years old. So he's the oldest person alive but he can still climb down chimneys to eat a shit load of cookies. So I've just destroyed a lot of kids dreams about Santa so I'm going to go take a nap. But one last thing. Has anyone ever noticed that Santa is spelled very similar to satan? 

Question of the Day:

Where's the pony I wanted when I was 5 Santa?